It's never quiet for long before the next sex scandal rocks the news. So it's Petraeus now. It's more than I can handle at the moment. But this brings me to the introduction of Alive: A Life and another sex scandal that took over the media and our minds, whether we wanted it or not.
Sex>Lies>Resignation is the most common course for our nation's public figures. But for Sadie, the protagonist of our story, the equation is actually Sex>Lies>Advancement. Read the book to find out how.
CHAPTER 1: ALIVE: A LIFE
Our married sports hero, Tiger Woods, champion of the golf world, gets back on the green amidst the fallout of his scandalous sex life and the world turns again.
If I had been his PR manager working damage control during this major media crisis, I would have advised him to tell the world, ‘I apologize to the public and to my family, but I had no choice. My dick was possessed by demons.’ Or, better yet, ‘My junk was cursed by hoodoo. It wasn’t my fault.’ That way we could all have had a laugh.
For the countless women he allegedly copulated with, this would have also allowed him to say, ‘No way! That wasn’t me, baby, it was the demons. I’ve never met you. I was someone else at the time.’
It’s not even just Tiger, but any public figure who has sullied his or her profession with affairs and illicit sex. We don’t want to hear your sad multi-million dollar ‘sorry.’ We don’t care. Own up.
Instead, his handlers fed us, ‘Sex addict.’ Hey – go fuck yourself Tiger. Spare us the bullshit psychoanalysis and drawing us into your sordid, lucky life. Get real.
The funniest parody I watched was on Saturday Night Live. It featured a chimp, suddenly cash rich, with green falling out of his invisible chimp pockets.
This chimp goes on to fuck all the girl chimps nonstop. Next, a monkey that looks like that one promoter chick—who was allegedly ‘with’ Tiger—steps onto the scene followed by a bevy of young chimp girls with ‘bottle service.’ He jackhammers each of them while showering them with money.
I added that last part. Whatever. The point is made.
I’m so tired of hearing about these annoying people and their way-too-public sex lives. The media brings us all down to a below-gutter low. There’s enough gas in the daily news to fuel a rocket to space.
Insightful, wise, protective, mystical: The owl is deep and intense just like our hero, Sadie Berkelheimer. But she has to go beyond what her dead end corporate job will allow to actualize her strengths.