Excerpt 5: Sex, Lies, and Advancement

It's never quiet for long before the next sex scandal rocks the news. So it's Petraeus now. It's more than I can handle at the moment. But this brings me to the introduction of Alive: A Life and another sex scandal that took over the media and our minds, whether we wanted it or not.

Sex>Lies>Resignation is the most common course for our nation's public figures. But for Sadie, the protagonist of our story, the equation is actually Sex>Lies>Advancement. Read the book to find out how. 

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CHAPTER 1: ALIVE: A LIFE

         Our married sports hero, Tiger Woods, champion of the golf world, gets back on the green amidst the fallout of his scandalous sex life and the world turns again.

         If I had been his PR manager working damage control during this major media crisis, I would have advised him to tell the world, ‘I apologize to the public and to my family, but I had no choice. My dick was possessed by demons.’ Or, better yet, ‘My junk was cursed by hoodoo. It wasn’t my fault.’ That way we could all have had a laugh.

         For the countless women he allegedly copulated with, this would have also allowed him to say, ‘No way! That wasn’t me, baby, it was the demons. I’ve never met you. I was someone else at the time.’

         It’s not even just Tiger, but any public figure who has sullied his or her profession with affairs and illicit sex. We don’t want to hear your sad multi-million dollar ‘sorry.’ We don’t care. Own up.

        Instead, his handlers fed us, ‘Sex addict.’ Hey – go fuck yourself Tiger. Spare us the bullshit psychoanalysis and drawing us into your sordid, lucky life. Get real.

         The funniest parody I watched was on Saturday Night Live. It featured a chimp, suddenly cash rich, with green falling out of his invisible chimp pockets.

         This chimp goes on to fuck all the girl chimps nonstop. Next, a monkey that looks like that one promoter chick—who was allegedly ‘with’ Tiger—steps onto the scene followed by a bevy of young chimp girls with ‘bottle service.’ He jackhammers each of them while showering them with money.

         I added that last part. Whatever. The point is made.

         I’m so tired of hearing about these annoying people and their way-too-public sex lives. The media brings us all down to a below-gutter low. There’s enough gas in the daily news to fuel a rocket to space.

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Insightful, wise, protective, mystical: The owl is deep and intense just like our hero, Sadie Berkelheimer. But she has to go beyond what her dead end corporate job will allow to actualize her strengths.

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Differentiating Your Business

When our female protagonist, Sadie Berkelheimer, started her secret business, she eagerly employed all of her business skills that had laid to waste with her New York-based corporate financial services employer. 

Her first step was to differentiate the product/service of Angelica's House because we all know that's how you stand out in the market: you offer something better than your competitors with more value and higher return for your customers. 

Sadie and the girl's aggregated all of their knowledge from YEARS of reading Cosmopolitan Magazine and, interestingly enough, experiences that were totally separate from sex.

Some of the tips they shared with each other for treating customers actually came from things they learned while getting massages or skin treatments at highly-rated spas around the world. The best massage or body treatment helps you escape from the world and that's what they want to deliver to their clients: an escape, a fantasy, a release from the world.

Service Guidelines

1. Treat your client like a demi-god. (Not like a pain in the neck.) Your aim is to please: intellectually and physically.
2. Always maintain a pleasant demeanor you are there to serve.
3. Speak sparingly, quietly and use a soft, calm voice. (If you're overtalking you should be the one paying.)
4. Explain briefly what the service will entail. (The client will like the build of anticipation.)
5. Always ask the client if there are any special needs or areas that require extra attention. 
6. Begin the service with a small ritual to help the client leave the outside world behind--maybe a head massage or foot massage. 
7. Never abruptly touch your client. Whenever possible, always maintain contact: a gentle hand or your fingertips should always be on the client. For example, don't take away both hands when shifting to another part of the body, keep one hand on the body during transition. This keeps the client in the spa zone.
8. Make the work that you put out seem totally pleasing and effortless.
9. Regardless of how rushed you or your client may be, always maintain the beauty and calm of the moment. It's meant to be an escape.
10. Always say: Thank you.

The biggest most secret business in the city that everyone wants a part of.

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ACCESS Your POTENTIAL

Do you feel like your talents are not being maximized in your current job?

Is your company not recognizing your achievements in a way that helps you get ahead?

Are you full of ideas that you never get a chance to execute?

Are you wanting something more out of life?

Do you feel like opportunities are passing you by? 

Do you feel like garbage everyday because of all of the above??? 

Remember one thing. Your potential is LIMITLESS. All you have to do is access it. 

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By Yours Truly. Get the book that went viral overnight and

See how one employee did it. It's time to get inspired. Your chance is coming.

YOU ARE NOT A ZOMBIE. YOU ARE HUMAN.

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Sexcerpt 4: GIVING GOOD SERVICE

In business, you are only as good as your product, and the girls deliver.

*****

All the girls are out at once for the first night while Sadie sits at home worrying. 

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*****

         I met with Elijah in a diner on the Upper East Side at the sick hour of 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. He arrived with ledger in hand to pretend we were going over my books apparently, and slipped me an envelope with $800 upfront for two hours. He was interested in light S&M and picked Chryssie. So that’s where she was: spanking and teasing Elijah in a hotel downtown.

         It’s not quite midnight yet, and too early to expect Vicky to walk in the front door, but I’m going to wait up for her. I want to know how the night went, and I feel like since they’re working so should I.

         Half an hour into the next Lifetime Movie, I receive a text from Chryssie, “Sol Goode babes.” Sol Goode was a comedy about a womanizer who with a turn of bad luck has a moment of introspection. We all watched it together a few nights ago, when we were discussing our business strategy and determining who would be best at what activity. Now it’s our little inside joke. As far as the roles go, that’s far more strategic.

         Melody is our catchall blonde. She covers the kitchen-sink of kink. She’s the pretty, Midwestern girl gone bad.

         Chryssie is our spicy vixen, not afraid to let the paddle fall harder – or to make anyone feel like the turd on the bottom of her shoe that they want to be.

         Vicky is our sweet mercurial submissive, who can turn a night into the hottest mess this side of the Colorado River. She has that exotic, schoolgirl appeal that guys lose their savings over. Even though she’s more of a highly trained assassin who we have to keep our eyes on, and the same goes with Chryssie. Of the three, Melody is my solid. She’s unbreakable, and the one who is going to help me keep this group of misfits on track. 

         We decide we want to become known for something, and we minimally want recognition for our talents by way of solid, well-heeled, recurring clients. We’ve aggregated everything that we know about pleasing a man into a compendium, a bedside encyclopedia of the history of sex and male companionship. It wasn’t that difficult: We’ve all been devouring Cosmopolitan Magazine from the moment we learned how to read.

         One entry in the encyclopedia is “Fellatio.”

         Unanimously we all agreed: do not practice on a banana—doing so will turn you off from ever practicing on the real thing. It’s also just weird to rape an innocent piece of fruit with your mouth. Besides, fruit is inanimate. You could be doing it totally wrong, like using too much teeth, and never know. Our house rules for giving BJ’s are defined as follows, with individual interpretation/individualization, of course.

         We’ve all contributed our knowledge from practice, and from Cosmo and other sources of erotica and how-to. 

LEARN HOW THE PROS DO IT IN:

*****

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Excerpt 3: A Spontaneous Visit to the Upper East

New York has all sorts of secret hideaways amidst the steel and concrete. It's a city of contrasts as extreme as the weather. Your luck can turn from positive to negative in a second. But if you look closely, beauty abounds and mystery lures you in deeper and deeper. 

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Here is one of the tamer excerpts from the book. Melody is off to see a client, she went rogue this time. But it won't happen again.

*****

         Melody tells me the story.

         Wearing a cropped red-haired wig under a black hoodie, fishnets, stilettoes and a black fitted dress with La Perla underneath, she arrives at the entrance of a building on 75th and Park.  

         The doorman opens the door, “May I help you?”

         “I’m here to see Charles Mayhew.”

         “One moment please.”

         The doorman steps behind his desk and calls Mayhew’s unit. “Mr. Mayhew, there is a young lady here to see you. Yes, sir.” He replaces the phone into its cradle and tells her, “12th floor, Apartment E. The elevators are around the corner.”

         Melody thanks him. She says she could feel his eyes on her as she walked around the corner and that it was arousing in a way.

         Charles is a young, successful venture capitalist. He’s a friend of a friend of a friend.

         Melody gets into the elevator and is followed by an elderly woman holding a Yorkshire terrier, who smiles and then wishes her goodnight as she exits a floor below Charles’.

         Melody gets out on 12 and walks around until she finds E. She knocks and waits. Finally, Charles answers.

         He thanks her for coming, and asks her how she is. She says she’s well and tells him he looks sexy. He walks her into his living room, where he has a glass of whisky sitting on his coffee table. He takes a sip of that and then asks her to undress for him.

         She does. Sensuously, she removes the few pieces of clothing she has on. He asks her to touch herself while exposing herself to him. He continues to sip his whisky.
         He has an incredible apartment, so well appointed and sophisticated for someone so young, but she doesn’t say anything to him and he doesn’t ask her any questions about herself.

         Then he says to her, “Do you mind if I loosely tie your hands together behind your back and have you go down on me?” She says she doesn’t mind. So he does.

         He ties her hands behind her back with velvety rope, and then he unzips his pants. He’s ready to pop out on his own anyway.

         Charles sits down on the couch and she kneels in front of him in between his legs. He still has his gabardine trousers on from the office. She puts her mouth on him and, solely using her lips, throat and tongue, brings him near climax.

         Then he tells her he wants to be inside her.

         He puts a condom on, turns her around so that she’s facing outwards from the couch. Near the coffee table he has a wedge shaped, padded piece of furniture. She tells me it was something she thought she had seen in the back of Cosmopolitan Magazine once. He leans her body forward onto the cushion so that her forearms and elbows land at the narrowest part of the ramp, and then enters her voraciously.

         He comes, takes a sip of whisky and thanks her with six hundred dollars, and tells her he wants to see her weekly for about the same amount of time.

*****

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One woman's story of New York's financial world and the escort business she built. New York City will eat you alive if you don't outwit your rivals. 

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